I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
