You made me cry and you don't even care
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
