1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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