I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
