I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize