he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
