so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
