He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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