This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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