Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Randomize
