I think i sorta joined a cult last night
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize