Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
