Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
