I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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