he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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