so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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