wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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