Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
