That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
So many bounce houses so little time
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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