lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
