make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
if only i could text you this smell
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
