There is no way he is gay with that hair.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
