the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
