yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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