escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
