To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
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Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
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He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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