Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You've changed since you got that strap on
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
