ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
