I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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