remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
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I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
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she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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