Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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