If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
