We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
