Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
