I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
