yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
