i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
