everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize