What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
So. Much. Porn.
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