it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize