ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
