He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
