I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
