im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
this hospital has no fireball
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
