he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
