Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
