Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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