You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
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