I smell stomach acid.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
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