i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could fuck to npr.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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