Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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