There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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