you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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