Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
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