Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
