I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
