i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
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We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
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Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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