I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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