How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
