I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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