i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
