Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
