So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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