He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
