dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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