so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
