too bad you live with your parents still
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
