worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
