I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
