turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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