I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
3pm strippers are depressing
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
