The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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