So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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