i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
